Malaysian badminton star Lee Zii Jia has opened up about one of the most difficult periods of his life and career, revealing that intense mental and emotional pressure once pushed him to seriously consider retirement.
In a deeply personal statement shared on his social media, Lee spoke publicly about the struggles he has carried over the past year, including injury, poor form, anxiety, a loss of control over his career and the emotional toll of trying to change the environment around him.
The former All England champion explained that after leaving the national team, he entrusted many aspects of his life and professional career to people close to him so that he could focus fully on training and competition.
At the time, Lee believed that trust should form the foundation of those relationships. However, as time passed — particularly during a period when he was injured, struggling for form and mentally at one of his lowest points — he began to realise that circumstances were no longer what he had originally believed them to be.
“I was anxious, confused, and honestly very lost,” Lee revealed.
“I started to realise that I was not only dealing with injuries and performance, but also with a sense of helplessness that had built up over a long time.”
Lee said he eventually found the courage to express his feelings and seek greater control over the direction of his own life and badminton career.
His wish, he stressed, was simple: to decide who he wanted around him, determine the environment that suited him best and return his full attention to playing badminton.
“I just want to play, and to enjoy the game again,” he said.
However, Lee revealed that the process of communicating those wishes placed him under enormous mental and emotional pressure.
According to the Malaysian star, the situation went beyond ordinary disagreements and reached a point where he became afraid of facing certain situations and conversations, as well as being drawn back into the same emotional struggles.
The impact extended onto the badminton court.
Lee admitted that he struggled to concentrate during training, felt his life had lost its rhythm and, at his lowest point, seriously considered walking away from the sport altogether.
“There were times when I seriously thought about whether I should just retire,” he admitted.
Despite everything he has experienced, Lee made clear that he was not attempting to place all responsibility on others.
He acknowledged that many of the decisions were ultimately his own and expressed regret that his trust, weakness and hesitation may have hurt people who genuinely cared about him.
But after enduring a prolonged period of uncertainty, the Malaysian shuttler said he has now reached a crucial realisation — if he wants to continue his career, he must fight for the right to shape his own future.
“If I still want to continue, then I have to stand up for myself,” Lee said.
“I have to fight for my freedom, my right to make decisions, and a better environment for myself. Even if I fail, at least it will be my own choice, and I will take responsibility for it.”
Lee also stressed that he does not want the situation to become more damaging or create further hurt. Instead, he hopes the past can gradually be left behind, allowing everyone involved to move forward in the direction they believe is right.
For Lee, the priority now is clear: return his focus to the badminton court and rebuild his life and career step by step.
Lee concluded his emotional message by thanking his friends, supporters and sponsors for continuing to stand behind him, even during moments when he struggled to believe in himself.
He admitted there were times when he did not like the person he had become and could not understand why people continued to encourage and believe in him.
Their support, however, helped him realise that an athlete does not deserve support only because of victories, but also because of the determination to keep fighting through difficult moments.
“I do not know what the future will look like, and I do not know how long all of this will take,” Lee said.
“But I want you to know this — I will not give up easily.”
“No matter how many low moments are still ahead, and no matter how much doubt and failure I may still have to face, I will keep going until the day I truly cannot play anymore.”
Credit Photo : BAT
